i’ve realised that over the years, it’s been harder and harder for me to actually get along with a group of people. there are a few things that irk me, and one of the biggest ones will always be whether someone is sincere or not.
of course, i keep an open mind to people i’ve just met. but i am always a casual observer, trying to see from a background pov and see if this person is opportunistic or otherwise. of course i don’t really get to see this once i’m in a more public-facing pov, but there are other ways where you can usually tell if someone is (merely) being opportunistic or if there is a genuine interest in what you do. not just in terms of what you do for work, but also as a person. and i think over the past few years, i have found a few gems here and there and i still try to keep in contact with people that have this characteristic.
but i think much recently, i realised how much bullshit i’ve actually been tolerating when it comes to this. maybe because it was a time where i tried to expand my connections, and do / learn more from others, but i always came in with the intention of learning more from people instead of “networking just for the sake of networking”. even with opportunities, i was rather picky and i didn’t just sign up for some random ass networking session just because “i wanted to meet more people” and whatnot. there were days where i just didn’t want to talk to people, and if i felt like it i just absolutely didn’t (unless i had to work of course)! but i think that wasn’t the main problem.
the main problem really came with places where i’m obligated to speak to people and get to know each other. places like clubs, hall, etc. not that they’re bad, to be honest. i think that they are genuinely good spaces for you to meet people and try to get to know people better right? but like you realise throughout these few years, there is so much bullshit that you have to tolerate in order to get things moving, or there is so much insincerity you have to get through just to try to learn more and get a clearer picture of what’s at hand. and it’s quite tiring to look through it, to be honest. at least there are some people who are honest with me and tell me they’re in it not for the love of the game (which i can respect to a certain extent). but then there are those that obviously act like they are interested but you can never really understand their true intention, and that you can only tell that they’re not really being sincere with their thoughts. and those people tire me out so much.
but honestly? that’s not to say that the people i’ve known over the years are so very sincere. over time, this definition has somewhat shifted for people that i’ve known. there are people that i have known for a much longer time. but that doesn’t necessarily mean i will still continue to choose them no matter what. i think over the years, i have cut off a few friendships / purposely let it drift apart, and there are other friendships that have stuck with me through thick and thin. even if they’ve changed for the worse for other aspects, if they still haven’t forgotten the sincerity that i have offered them when we were young, then i’m sticking with you through thick and thin. but some people seem to forget. some people forget the essence of “饮水思源”. and when that happens, it genuinely irks me so much that i relegate them to a different place without hesitation at all.
the concept of “饮水思源” is very important to me, and it ties in with sincerity a lot. the phrase “饮水思源” basically means to remember your source of drinking water, aka to remember where you came from. however, to me, it’s not only just WHERE you came from, but also who were with you during those times and what they did for you in order for you to grow. so to remember your roots is no longer just remembering the places you grow up, but also WHICH people have done WHAT actions for you (oftentimes, without even expecting anything in return)! and when that disappears, it is genuinely a very sad day.
i hate people who are insincere. i hate those who forget the sincerity even more.
饮水思源.